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ROUND 2 · FEEDBACK

Obvious Corruption

...Five years and the corruption has only gotten more obvious.

RANK #9
DISPLAY SCORE 7.69 / 10
  • 💯 Perfect 10 — Vocals from Klopfenpop
  • 💯 Perfect 10 — Production from Klopfenpop · LEX the Lexicon Artist
  • 💯 Perfect 10 — Challenge from Klopfenpop
  • 🎤 Vocal Standout 8.4 / 10 avg across judges
  • 🃏 Perfect Card 30/30 from Klopfenpop
  • 😴 Sleeper Hit on 40 of 72 ballots — broadly liked, few #1 picks
  • 🎯 100 Club 173 plays on SoundCloud
  • 🎧 Most Plays 214 total plays across all platforms
  • ⭐ SoundCloud Rapper top 3 on SoundCloud with 5 likes
  • 📦 Full Package audio + art + lyrics + both writeups
  • 📝 Storyteller 2,044 characters across both writeups
  • 🎬 Oh, hi, Mark

TOTAL REACH — 214 plays · rank 1 / 22

  • SOUNDCLOUD 173
  • VPC SITE 29
  • YOUTUBE 12

TOTAL LIKES — 18 · rank 6 / 22

  • VPC SITE 13
  • SOUNDCLOUD 5
  • YOUTUBE 0

Tommywise

Open audio
Vocalist's challenge writeup

A Bibliography of References (probably not exhaustive) -Dream Police is a song by Cheap Trick (popular band from my home town) -Deez Nuts -Shrinking Violet is a trope -Spamton from Deltarune (he talks about being a big shot, it's in his battle music) -Peaches is a popular song by The Presidents of the United State of America -"all shots we land em' ect" is a modification of a Jay Z sequence from "U don't know" -sir this is a Wendy's meme -Spongebob "No this is Patrick" -"Tux on throwing a spiral" Spoiler for cult classic film "The Room" -World on the shoulder, Greek mythology or whatever Comparison being the thief of joy is attributed to teddy roosevelt, and I suspect teddy rossevelt is the thief of old adages. -Disaster Artist is a movie about Tommy Wiseau -"I used to be afraid, still am...." Is an adaptation of the joke "I used to do drugs, I still do but I used to too" by Mitch Hedberg -"Put that pressure on me" lifted from R.A.P Ferriera on Black Paladin Theme (also probably a reference in that song) -"I'mma make it out" nicked from Tyler the Creator's St. Chroma -writing on napkins is a Prowess shout-out -Kordlyss said watch out on the song Watch Out. lol

Producer's challenge writeup

Producer Notes Dollar Bin Main Titles Alternative Version Ennio Moricone 0:17 - This sample makes up hook section. Free Bin Hyperbolicsyllabalisticsesquedalymistic Issac Hayes 1:07 - I pulled this in as a vamp/drone that plays for the majority of the verses I Like Food The Decendants 0:05 - I isolated the vocal "Greasy Burger, Greasy Fries" sped it up, vocoded it in key and used it as ear candy at 2:01 in our track. International Bin I Lunghi Giorni Della Vendetta Armando Trovaioli 0:57 - This is the intro Sote Sota Adhi Rat 0:04, 2:48, 2:45 - These I used in two ways; I heavily processed them 3 times and resampled and chopped those into the lead beeping noises durring the verse. The second way I used them was for the growl guitar at 2:50. Utility Bin 78 BPM - All of the drums in the track are processes, resampled, and chopped from this.

Lyrics
I'm turning screws and I'll turn them screws when I choose to
It's Nothing new all the screws is loose dude


I'd Prefer my dreams ad free please
and someone tell the Dream Police to please leave
You'll need more than cheap tricks to fleece me
I got Micro plastic packed nuts, print 3deez

swirl my finger by my temple
Life could use a slower tempo I meant to say that
I'm a shrinking violet please be gentle

Seek Keith if you want you speaker speared through
warm up, no heatseekers seeking you
Word to spamton you wanna be a big shot, you better stick the landing, yea no I think not

Move into the country, get your peaches, can em
All shots we land em 
Pall plots we planned em On the 
back of napkins
I'm not being pedantic
Is this a wendys's?
No this is Patrick

I'm Tommy Wiseau
I don't know why though 
I'm going viral?
Tux on throwing a spiral

I'm Tommy Wiseau
I don't know why though 
I'm going viral?
Tux on, tucked arm, throwing a spiral

The World on my shoulders, curling big ass boulders
You'd never notice a stiff breeze could just bowl me over

I'm rolling downhill but somehow I stay failing upward
If I just say enough words I won't blow my cover

Sailing on a wave of lucky correct guesses
It's tough but none the less 
I somehow come off impressive yes
Give it up for the best disaster artist around
He never misses, nevermind the target's the ground.

I'm zoning out, no comfort in my comfort zone
Barely a storm but still, my whole structure groans
I don't know that I can afford the renovations 
The Duct tape and gum that line in all these places
Replacing parts don't really seem all that safe when
People say I'm so well adjusted,calm and patient

I used to be afraid,
I still am 
but Also used to be
comparisons the thief of joy my minds a crime scene

Put that pressure on me, imma jam on it

I'ma make it out promise I'm gon make it out


--


A Bibliography of References 
-Dream Police is a song by Cheap Trick (popular band from my home town
-Reference to the fact we're all 90% microplastics at this point
-Deez Nuts
-Shrinking Violet is a trope
-Spamton from Deltarune (he talks about being a big shot, it's in his battle music)
-Peaches is a popular song by The Presidents of the United State of America
-"all shots we land em' ect" is a modification of a Jay Z sequence from "U don't know"
-writing on napkins is a Prowess shout-out , iykyk
-sir this is a Wendy's meme
-Spongebob "No this is Patrick"
-Disaster Artist is a movie about Tommy Wiseau
-"I used to be afraid, still am...." Is an adaptation of the joke "I used to do drugs, I still do but I used to too" by Mitch Hedberg
-"Put that pressure on me" lifted from R.A.P Ferriera on Black Paladin Theme (also probably a reference in that song) 
-"World on my shoulders" reference to Atlas from greek mythology
-Comparison Theif of Joy is a quote potentialy from President Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt. Though there is no actual record of him saying it.
-"I'mma make it out" nicked from Tyler the Creator's St. Chroma
Kordlyss said watch out on the song Watch Out lol

--

Producer Notes
Dollar Bin
Main Titles Alternative Version Ennio Moricone 0:17 - This sample makes up hook section.
Free Bin
Hyperbolicsyllabalisticsesquedalymistic Issac Hayes 1:07 - I pulled this in as a vamp/drone that plays for the majority of the verses
I Like Food The Decendants 0:05 - I isolated the vocal "Greasy Burger, Greasy Fries" sped it up, vocoded it in key and used it as ear candy at 2:01 in our track. 
International Bin
I Lunghi Giorni Della Vendetta Armando Trovaioli 0:57 - This is the intro
Sote Sota Adhi Rat 0:04, 2:48, 2:45 - These I used in two ways; I heavily processed them 3 times and resampled and chopped those into the lead beeping noises durring the verse. The second way I used them was for the growl guitar at 2:50. 
Utility Bin
78 BPM - All of the drums in the track are processes, resampled, and chopped from this.

JUDGES' BREAKDOWN

  1. LEX the Lexicon Artist

    9.00/10 score · rank #1 of 22
    VOCALS 8
    PRODUCTION 10
    CHALLENGE 9

    I knew y'all would find your groove back. My personal favorite track this round. I liked your Round 0 and then your Round 1 not as much, but I knew this team had potential. It probably has to do with the industrial style production while still maintaining a clear , and I think Keith really finding his voice and his flow this round. Obvious Lee: Great chorus, short, memorable and simple. Can hear it being done live with audience call-and-response. Cosmic's composition for the chorus supports this. I can hear you incorporated my notes from last round. The tighter timefeel/flow and the altered vocal register compared to previous tracks stuck out to me. I think I want to hear something beyond self-deprecation next time. Like many other artists here I will suggest that you "try to not be yourself", and write from a different POV. "Give it up for the best disaster artist around He never misses, nevermind the target's the ground." Love it! Cosmic Ray Corruption: Love love love love this beat. Industrial chopped drums are some of my favorite sounds to hear in a production. Well done on incorporating every sample and making them feel integrated. Also the engineering here is excellent - supports the vocals while also allowing its unique elements to shine.

  2. Richie Branson

    8.00/10 score · rank #10 of 22
    VOCALS 8
    PRODUCTION 8
    CHALLENGE 8

    Love the rhyme schemes here. This vocal performance was really solid. Vocal mix is great. Beat is interesting. Beat swap at the end is nice, the overall soundscape here is good. Hook needs something more to spice it up, but it’s catchy enough as is.

  3. Klopfenpop

    10.00/10 score · rank #1 of 22
    VOCALS 10
    PRODUCTION 10
    CHALLENGE 10

    Heeeell yeah, this is what I want to hear. Love this performance. This might be one of your best. Clever schemes and wordplay. Really compelling bars out the gate! The hook feels triumphant. I also very much appreciate the Mitch Herbert reference. The sample work here is fantastic. You really let your own style shine through with a really cohesively sample forward beat. The switch ups are sick. I love the sonic world you’ve create with this mix. It has a lot of space, and the vocal isn’t over compressed, but it still feels full and has space to build to the hook. I love the stem split punk vocals becoming sparkly ear candy for text painting the mental health bar. True to life and quintessentially how real production happens sometimes lol. I love the way you tailored each break to the lyrics. It’s such an important step and gets missed far too often. That one of the places the magic happens and memories are made. I love your attention to the tiny magical moments. Fuck it, triple perfect 10 this round I guess! Sorry, not sorry

  4. Ben Tarkus

    8.33/10 score · rank #4 of 22
    VOCALS 9
    PRODUCTION 7
    CHALLENGE 9

    Was the beginning a Metroid reference? I liked that opening, had a harder time finding the beat a little bit until that first chorus, but then was in from there. We love a 'The Room' reference for sure too, hah. I appreciate the Mitch Hedberg reference but how dare you Deez Nuts me in 2026, now they cancel each other out! No but seriously, this one is a solid bop for Round 2.

  5. Mark Cooper

    7.00/10 score · rank #15 of 22
    VOCALS 7
    PRODUCTION 7
    CHALLENGE 7

    enjoyed all the references throughout the song. solid production and great use of materials. Overall, I enjoyed the track, but I was looking for a little bit more on both the vocalist and producer. Such great potential but next round I would like to see you dive a little bit out of your comfort zone. Great job!

Audience score and rank

AUDIENCE SCORE

5.35 / 10

Aggregated from 72 ballots cast by the public.

AUDIENCE RANK

9 / 22

Out of 22 teams competing this round.

  • 40 voters ranked them in their top 10
  • 14 voters had them in their top 5
  • 2 voters picked them as their #1 favorite

FINAL BLEND

The final score was a 7.69. The song received an average voter score of 5.35 from the community, and an average judge score of 8.47.

The display score blends the audience and judges' contributions at 25%/75%. Here's how Obvious Corruption's 7.69 broke down:

1.34 from audience
6.35 from judges

(5.35 × 25%) + (8.47 × 75%) = 7.69

YOUR SEASON SO FAR

  1. Round 1 · 6.91 / 10 · rank #10
  2. Round 2 · 7.69 / 10 · rank #9 PERSONAL BEST
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