Spandex Moose

See lyrics.

The chorus is intended to be the walk-out music for when The Cuck returns as his new persona The Chaplain. The sample is used throughout as the main beat.

The year is 1998. A new tag team pairing explodes onto the wrestling scene, rocketing up the rankings and delighting fans across the world…

Give ME the chair, cos they call me the Cuck
Coming up with the Bull in the ring going buck
Wild, a couple’a smug smiles, trouble to- trouble to ref
Two new additions to the WWF

Meet the Bull, signature move the Mating Press
Holds your legs back, Jack, keeps you pinned to the deck
Check the Cuck, yo I build til I bust and I vent
Immense popularity, we’re about to explode, when

King of the Ring, a date with a death knell
It was 1998 at the Hell in the Cell
Top of the cage, Mankind, he got fucking propelled
Onto the Bull, broke neck, brain splattered as well

On the mat, now I’m kneeling and I’m praying to God
On the mat, blood seeping, and it’s spraying oh Lord
On the mat, Bull’s fading with his brains in my hands
Fans on their feet in the stands
Send me an angel

CHORUS

5 years later, following a harrowing series of surgeries and life-saving interventions, our heroes prepare for a long-awaited return to the ring…

7am, tren, plug in the IV
26 eggs and a gallon of Hi-C
HGH, test, oxy and slightly
More baby oil than I’d like to be applying

But you’re my boy, Bull, even when you’re stuck in a chair
I don’t care what people say, I know that you’re in there
Drooling on yourself, doctors say you’re not here, bruh
I’m keeping you alive everyday with my gear, bruh

And our career, bruh, it’s time, yeah we’re ready to go
Set up the telly, point you at it, you’ll be watching my show
Double-check the breathing tube, man, it’s all running smooth
Top off the feeding tube, dude, now I’m on the move

Lights, camera, action, the smoke pours out, and I’m back with a passion
Revealing the Chaplain, reborn, the Cuck is gone
In his place is a man of God, in my sanctum

The ring, I’m am He, the Lord’s own fist
Back at home, the Bull watches, the boy who lived
Through the grace of God, risen and given the gift
Of everlasting life, suddenly the TV flickers

In his chair, the Bull twitches, he coughs, does he choke?
in the ring, spreading my arms and climbing the rope
Crucifix is my newest trick, dropping in quick
A circuit blows at my home, power off with a click

Call me the priest, man, the way that I’m fucking these kids up
Or SIDS son, the Bull’s choking, throat is all filled up
The crowd’s screaming, I’m beaming, you know that I’m bricked up
The Bull can’t breath, he’s convulsing, he’s tits up

Gravity pulling the food down in his throat
His eyes darting, hes panicking, onstage I’m the GOAT
Lifting the belt with a crowd of admirers
While at home he expires
Thinking

CHORUS

Following his victory, the Cuck AKA the Chaplain disappeared not just from the WWE, but altogether. Speculation was rife in the wrestling community about his whereabouts…

Under the bridge, bröther, just found a new vein in my bicep
3:23am, getting in my reps
Lift the syringe to my arm, time for the shot
Shoot enough H to my veins and I see God

Cold up the arm, feel it straight to my heart
Where the Bull lives still and he lived from the start
Here I come, sweet prince, on my way, feel the pull
The return of the Cuck to the Bull
Send me an angel