Couch Co-op

The age of 90s/00s club anthems and the golden era of hip hop/rap is where I belong in my heart. I really wanted to have some fun with this track while aiming to exemplify the enjoyment and nerdy nature of a room full of computers with competitive gameplay. As I wrote the track sprinkling as many references to equipment and 90s PC gaming culture, it swiftly turned into a collection of jokes and innuendos. This I realised was possibly why I enjoyed LAN meet ups in my past. It wasn't just the thrill of multiplayer, overcoming network issues and killing my mates, it was the trash talk, the late nights, the snacks and the jokes of which, I included, referencing the odd VPC related elements and songs as I went. The best double entendre I could slip in refers to the advancement of floppy drives to hard drives around that era but is a nod to male arousal too. Niche references to RJ Clips, Hubs, CRTs death matches, snacks/dips and admin permission would be what a team of LAN club members would expect in their track including others not mentioned here. The catchy chorus is two-part, deliberately poking fun at the ridiculous determination of setting up such a meeting. Computers on the floor just to get them working, etc. Also at Elon Musk, who claimed to be the best at Quake (unproven). Then swings into a deliberate pastiche of the type of instructional hook you get in club tracks, e.g., ‘put your hands up’, etc., but tailored to a dimly lit room, rather than a dancefloor, and said like the chairman telling members how to proceed with the events of the meeting. The final chorus is switched up to represent the unfortunate end of the club meeting due to technical difficulties.

When we were young enough to go clubbing, hip hop and R&B was often playing in the alternative rooms. These were the days of club bangers being provided by The Neptunes, Timbaland, Swizz Beats and Scott Storch. We decided to pay tribute to this period. The beat features classic Scott Storch elements of strings and piano and the Latin-flavour of the piano, in parts, was a nod to the underground L.A.N. Clubs in Cuba. I sprinkled more traditional EDM-club elements into the production, whilst trying to maintain the hip hop vibe. Challenge Elements: Drop: after the chorus (3:20), there’s a build that drops into a new section Beat switch: half time at 2:30 and 3:20 Tension building rise: risers used before each chorus and the final half of each chorus increases in intensity Breakdown: after the first chorus (1:20) Call and response rhythm/crowd chant: “L-A-N-Club” chant during the intro and outro as well as a melody during the outro that could be used by the crowd to chant along to Dramatic pause: following the drop at 3:40 Bass switch: there are three separate bass sounds used throughout the track. The first verse and chorus uses an 808 then there are separate sounds and rhythms for each of the next verses DJ friendly mixable intro or outro: both the intro and outro could be mixed as there is minimal instrumentation present

L 
A
N
Club!


Bringing all the ruckus
We be pinging motherfuckers 
Admin giving that permission 
We're reliving younger summers


At the local club on a network hub
Causing errors in your areas so show us some love 
We be cherry-picking games and we take our time
But we play the same names like we run Noir Grime


And if, connection's unstable 
Then maybe tech's loose?
Singing: ’send me a cable’
Like we're Spandex moose (we're not)


Have you heard of this
Back in the crazy days
We used to burn our discs 
Using ancient ways


And the way that things are going 
It's envoking funny feelings
‘Cos if buying isn't owning
Then to pirate isn't stealing 


Playing Doom so well
Pentium tuned Intel
You wanna diss me and my PC 
Suck my Packard Bell (end)
My drives have gone from floppy to as hard as hell
If my laptop was a woman I would call her: a Dell


It's the L to the A to N to whaaat
Tables are high but the cables are short
Doesn't really matter let's be playing on the floor
Like what we even fucking with the furniture for?
Yo
Put your hands down put your deets in
I ain’t feeling you Elon, I know you're cheating 
Get your discs out, PAL region
It's the LAN club meeting that's the reason


We some optimistic hedonists with stimulants acquired 
We're positively wired and we're POSITIVELY WIRED! 


We ain't never getting tired of these victories
And the only friendly fire's in our spicy treats 


We got the Cheeto chips and the dusty keys
We got the RJ clips in the CRTs
We got the party dips dripping on our knees
We gonna go all night 'hello?' sleeping bag please!
Whatever we're just trying to be clever
But just remember getting headshots on members is our our favourite endeavour 
Picture a room with computers
And first person shooters
We got an underground network
That could be bigger than Cuba's


Come on and reset the router
Er Router, I barely know her
You know we gon’ abuse you if you using a controller
You still control me; man that track is grower
Who's teabagging my body cos I'm gonna lose my composure 
 
It's the L to the A to N to whaaat
Tables are high but the cables are short
Doesn't really matter let's be playing on the floor
Like what we even fucking with the furniture for?


Yo
Put your hands down Put your deets in
I aint feeling you Elon, I know you're cheating 
Get your discs out, PAL region
It's the LAN club meeting that's the reason


This my house, bring your own mouse
Buy your own snacks shut your damn mouth 


We're Local Area Experts 
My fingers ‘n’ head hurts
Don't care ‘bout your net worth
Just jump on the network 


We're running events at very little expense 
I'mma kill you motherfuckers in a digital sense 


No we don't know how sex works 
We wearing high necked shirts
But Fun is a dead cert
So jump on the Network


Eating chicken drumsticks where your crumbs hit, there your thumb slips 
Oh shit; you got slippy Thumbsticks
I'm the chairman I don't care man
Running out of chips I'm aware but I'm looking for the spare RAM
Cut the flim flam it's a death match and I'll dispatch you on your best match game crashed disc's scratched
So get the fuck in here we some pioneers
With some wired gear we be clubbin, running, gunning and we're dying here!


It's the L to the A to N to the Club
Lights go dim and the power gets cut
Everybody wins and the session was fun
Let's reconvene same time next month


So 
Stop LAN Club Get your hands up  
Put your seat back when you stand up
Pull your discs out, Woh! Put your dicks away
It ain't that kinda club but you can join today 




L
A
N
Club


It's the L
A
Er N
Fucking Club!!!