Mechanical Peasants

I just recently started attending two different Pokemon Leagues in Columbus (one is also a cafe thus the album artwork). Though I have been playing for years, this is my first time being a part of a league. I thought it would be fun to use this song as a juxtaposition of a “dance club” and “pokemon club” (which is exemplified by the music vs. the lyrics) as a fight where someone wants to physically fight me, and I'm like “Hell yeah, get your Pokemon deck. Let's go!” And then I proceed to explain the game mechanics, only to find that my internal biases have paired me up against a seasoned veteran. The 3 main references (amongst others): Slow King V - a notoriously difficult Pokemon to battle because of their “word of ruin” attackBoss’s Order - a trainer supporter card that can ultimately determine the outcome of the match by allowing your opponent to switch your active Pokemon for a benched Pokemon that likely is easier to defeatCrit One Hit - knocking out a Pokemon by eliminating their entire HP with one attackDouble Entendre “I'd tap that” - It's customary to offer tap or cut each time you shuffle, but it also means sexy stuff too.

My artistic choices: Call to the floor: you hear that siren, you know your track is on, get out there and danceBeat Switch: Verse beat switches up from the HookDramatic Silence: Pre-bridge 2 beat cut, 1 beat out at the end of the buildCall & Response bridgeTension building rise for the drop

(Chorus)
You wanna fight with me? How about Pokemon TCG?
You wanna fight with me? How about Pokemon TCG?
You wanna fight with me? How about Pokemon TCG?
You wanna fight with me? How about Pokemon TCG?

Pokemon TCG,
Learning the mechanics like 1-2-3,
Taking my opponent down easily,
Unless I’m going up against a Slow King V

Shuffle then offer tap or cut,
I don’t know about you, but I’d tap that (what?)
Unless you’re trying to change your luck,
Or the other player’s cheating, no other reason

I’m so conspicuous,
I gotta be so meticulous,
Draw seven facing me, I got a basic V,
So, I’m not looking ridiculous

Otherwise with no base Pokémon, I’d have to draw again,
That’s called a mulligan, all again,
Set an active and up to five bench,
Add six prize cards to the left, face down!

Chorus

The winner of a coin flip picks
Who goes first and who just sits,
But if you go first you can’t do
Supporters, evolve, and the first player can’t attack you

From there on out,
You take turns trying to get a knockout,
Take six prize cards and then you win,
How do you do that? We’ll let me fill you in

You need an energy to attack an enemy,
But it must be measuredly to the type and quantity
Jolteon V needs one elect-lectricity,
And two colorless which can be any category

Eelektross, if you can evolve to this,
Will need four energy for a buzz flip-flip-flip,
Flip a coin four times and for each head,
Knock 100 HP off your enemy ‘til they’re dead

Chorus

What? Boss’s orders? Switch in one of your opponents benched Pokémon to the active spot? But you already damaged my flying Pikachu Vmax. One more hit and they’re….oh no!

Switching my position from an active disposition,
Which is sure TO shift the mission of the vision I provisioned,
My condition is a burn like nuclear fission from the opposition,
Yeah, I got my food tin, but I have suspicions

I could use an intermission or perhaps just a physician
To prevent my premonition of untimely decommission,
My admission is sedition, it did not come to fruition,
And I’m wishing my volition was enough to stop your ammunition

Sorry, I think we got off track,
You just draw for turn, and end with attack,
Any other move, you can do what you want
In any order and often more than once

You just draw for turn, bench a basic,
Attach energy, play a trainer,
Use abilities, evolve if able
Retreat your active, attack your rival

Now you can also be burned or confused,
Poisoned and many other ways to be abused,
So, you can kill ‘em slow,
Or you can crit one hit, take ‘em out in one blow

Trainers can help along the way,
They’re supporters, items, and tools that you can play,
So just read instructions,
Strategize, surmise and make deductions

Chorus